Today
What a strange day.
Today, I received a piece of bad news. “Bad” is an understatement of course. But describing how I really felt would probably just sound melodramatic and unfairly so.
Today, I also received a nicely framed certificate to mark a career milestone and said multiple thank-yous to multiple congratulations. Tonight was supposed to be a night of celebration, but I had to excuse myself before my facade crumbles.
It’s curious how well I can pretend, when I put my mind to it. But mind and optimism can take delusion only so far, and sometimes, one has to accept inevitable loss.
I cannot talk about it because indeed, it’s too personal. [Yes, I have my boundaries too.] At this moment, I cannot fathom even talking about it with my closest friends, because I will break.
I hate writing such cryptic blog posts, because I know it’s annoying to read. But I have to, to explain why I’ve not been writing since last week, and I still can’t, pretty much. Bear with me, I need some space.
Because I am sad. Tonight I weep.