thinkcink.net

About me that you almost certainly do not care to know but I am going to tell you anyway hah!

1. I was born a Malaysian but am now a Singaporean.
2. I am the middle child and have two brothers.
3. I am only one in the family with an English name on her birth certificate.
4. I have never been able to get a straight answer out of my father on why me, why Cindy.
5. I believe in love.
6. I also believe in karma and suspect that I must have been a playboy in my goddamn previous life.
7. My mental age is about early 30s. At about 25 I started thinking I’m 30. I blame the crowd I was/am hanging out with.
8. My friends believe I can run a fake blog pretending to be a 16-year-old nympho. I seriously wonder where they get that idea.
9. The top reason I might throw a tantrum at you is if you flaked out on me.
10. Or if you say something rude about the GLBTs.
11. I once had a crush on a girl and for that, entertained the thought of being a lesbian when I was a teenager (as teenagers do).
12. Sadly I am straight.
13. I genuinely believe I am a good person.
14. I am however not always nice.
15. It kills me when people describe me as nice. Misunderstood and ugly, it means, I am.
16. I used to know how to say I love you and I miss you in Thai.
17. I know enough French to survive 4 days in Paris.
18. I know enough Japanese to survive 4 months in Tokyo.
19. I once made a speech in Japanese in a village in Kyushu.
20. I am proud of the fact that I have won Chinese creative essay competitions in secondary school.
21. I wrote better back then than now.
22. Mandarin remains the more emotive language for me; Chinese (pop) love songs touch me more than I will ever admit.
23. It took me a long time to get used to the fact that clothes on me are not supposed to look like clothes on the models.
24. When men compliment me on my face, I thank them then think worse of them.
25. I have a weakness for sashimi.
26. My favourite foods all start with ‘C’s - corn, coconut, carrot (only uncooked ones) and chicken (only cooked ones, preferably Kentucky deep fried ones).
27. While I was in the US, I tried twice to be vegetarian but failed miserably. First time foiled by KFC. Second time by steak.
28. I once ate so many baby carrots I turned yellow. Nearly orange.
29. I don’t like Indian food very much and for that reason alone will probably never date an Indian. Oh plus I’m racist, of course.
30. I used to have a complex about lines on my hands, because I did all the laundry in the family.
31. I have an irrational fear about drowning, but learnt to dive anyway.
32. I read a lot but refuse to buy books because I don’t have enough shelf space.
33. I have not yet read MM’s Memoirs.
34. I gave away at least 2 copies of Le Petit Prince.
35. If I could make money out of my writing, I would sell out immediately.
36. I aspire to write the type of books that one might carry to the loo.
37. I have gone hunting once in Africa and cried at the sight of the spilled guts of a dead warthog.
38. I have a 10-year travel plan with my best friend.
39. Next year we are going to Honolulu for the marathon.
40. I have a lifelong love-hate affair with running. Mostly I hate doing it. But I can’t seem to stop.
41. My favourite colour is yellow. Yes, even pukey yellow.
42. I own possibly more pieces of yellow clothing that a person really needs.
43. 80% of my (wearable) wardrobe is black.
44. I love my high heels. It’s a height thing, not a power thing.
45. I used to play the piano, but am now guilty of only trying to sight-read once every few months a few pieces.
46. My fatal weakness is for musicians. People who have mastered their instrument, their voice or the crowd. My knees literally buckle, my facial muscles tightened into a perpetual idiot-grin, in the presence of musicians.
47. I have yet to meet someone who plays the cello, but a online crush from ages ago once described the vibrations of a cello against one’s thighs and taught me the seduction of words and imagination.
48. I love taking photos but know I’m not spending enough time doing it.
49. I have taken enough dance classes to know that I would never make anything of it.
50. Swing remains my favourite dance.
51. Conditioned by movies, I have a (now not-so-secret) fantasy about dancing with my love at our wedding.
52. I passionately detest horror movies.
53. One of the reasons I may not move out of my parents’ house is because I can only afford an apartment on my salary and I cannot bear the thought of taking the lift everyday.
54. I will immediately hate you if you tell me a lift-related ghost story.
55. My 1.5 years in Shanghai was the first time I truly lived alone. And I loved it.
56. My Shanghai apartment looked like an IKEA showroom.
57. I miss those days of hosting parties in my little apartment.
58. I am not a competitive person.
59. I attribute it to my low self esteem.
60. However hidden my self esteem issues might be.
61. I fear, deeply, that I am incapable of sustaining long-term relationships. Or of love.
62. Common perception, it seems, is that I intimidate men. Men intimidate me actually.
63. Both my brothers are married and view my tastes in men with great suspicion.
64. I have not made up my mind about marriage or about babies, and they are separate issues.
65. I have had one marriage proposal before, and currently maintain a marriage pact as my fall-back option (i.e. we will marry each other if we remain single at age X.)
66. I remember my dreams, sometimes in colour.
67. I once had a series of gender-confused dreams, and really enjoyed being a man.
68. I also once had a dream about Brad Pitt and that one is up on my Dreamy Hall of Fame.
69. I appreciate the smallest things in life, like the aroma of BBQ on the way home, the warmth of a bed, the shape of the clouds in the sky etc.
70. I am also materialistic and sometimes lust after the bling.
71. I will not deny the possibility of marrying for financial security (especially if I am indeed incapable of love, ref #61).
72. Deep down I will always be a poor kampong girl.
73. I am a ex-scholar civil servant.
74. I join in the bitching about the bond, but deep down don’t really mind.
75. I am genuinely hurt when people misinterpret government policies and question our integrity.
76. I also believe that the government has done some stupid things. (Or stupidly not done some things.)
77. My mother thinks I am lazy and can do better.
78. My friends think I work too hard.
79. The truth is probably somewhere between the two.
80. My IQ peaked sometime during my teenage years.
81. I wonder sometimes about alternate universes, where perhaps I am a Mexican factory girl now. Or a French opera singer. Or a American married homemaker with triplets. Or a Chinese prostitute.
82. I have scars on my back that I believe came from years of wearing bras that didn’t fit.
83. I have never broken a bone in my life before and think myself a bore for it.
84. I have on occasion pretended to be pregnant in order to get a seat on the train.
85. I have a tendency to abuse my hair when I get bored.
86. The only times I keep my hair long is when my boyfriends indicate a preference for it.
87. I was told that I am a good kisser. I wish more guys were good kissers.
88. One of my ex-boyfriends fought in the war in Iraq. The daily CNN terrified and tortured me.
89. The idea of my dog dying on me fills me with tears immediately, without fail.
90. Sometimes the thought of having to live to 80 depresses me.
91. I have a morbid fascination with the likelihood of getting myself killed in an accident.
92. I have never ridden on a motorcycle in my life.
93. I sometimes feel guilty for being relatively healthy.
94. I do not carry a doll as an accessory, because it inevitably looks as though a person/animal/creature is hanged and put on a string/chain.
95. I am allergic to alcohol and turn all splotchy after a few drinks.
96. I get frequent headaches but am always more than happy to take to bed when that happens.
97. My mother has passed her passive aggressive genes to me. I’m not proud of it, but would admit to being amused.
98. I pride myself on being independent and capable of doing things like fixing toilets, jump-starting cars, reading maps, climbing trees etc.
99. I wish I were more feminine, and actually enjoy cooking or knitting or shopping or something. No. Wait. Nah, I don’t wish that.
100. I have a secret that I will carry to my deathbed. Maybe I’ll tell someone then.